You do know that the new forum comes out pretty soon, right? It will contain everything you listed, except maybe Newbie jail.
Information about the new forum can be found in their designated sub-forum and more basic information can be found in the "
Unofficial list of (official) Bitcointalk.org rules, guidelines, FAQ"-thread, which also tells you when it's supposed to be released. It's a sticky in Meta, so if someone really had a question about this, they would have read the sticky first and then posted something if it's not answered by the sticky.
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Q: So when is the new forum software coming?
A: Well, according to theymos, some time after February 2015.
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Source:
Unofficial list of (official) Bitcointalk.org rules, guidelines, FAQ.
The problem lies in the word 'soon'. What soon means for a company for example:
http://www.wowwiki.com/Soon.
Where time isn't defined, soon can be a long time. After February 2015.. we could wait till 2016, since that is also 'after'.
With the growing amount of hacks in the Bitcoin world, and no real way of getting your account back (only by contacting Theymos which often doesn't have a positive result), the users are at risk.