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If the fork happens the exchanges will fork and so will everyone.
Most of the exchanges can do what the hell they like, they're trading IOUs and calling them bitcoins. Until those IOUs turn into transactions on the blockchain they're worthless, ie. users 'coins' on Gox.
Exactly. If Gavin gets the top 4 exchanges on board and pools, user complaints won't matter (sadly it is like this, and the average Joe can't do anything).
(worst case scenario) This brings even more concern, if Theymos does not support the changes and they get forced we will end up in a very bad situation. Everything will split and the fight for survival will start.