But ya wanted to market it as, you know, _money_, so the cat's out of the bag. I
Yeah. Bad choice. Now that you know we made a wrong turn, do you want to keep on going?
It's called "Bitcoin" and people are using it to "pay" for things. So it's obviously a financial system (for purposes of e.g. money laundering regulations and similar restrictions). But because it's not a government currency it's not "money" for the UCC. So for example in the U.S. you can't write a check for "10,000 BTCs", it won't be considered a legal negotiable instrument. So you get almost all the financial regulation, which will regulate it as money transfer, but not the respect of the UCC, which will just treat it as an ordinary good (or possibly even a service, putting you outside the UCC and into common law) if you write it into a contract. (Caveat: I am not a lawyer, folks who are seriously using this stuff should consult real lawyers).
Slow down! You're making a big assumption there.
Bitcoin is a computer program that is run over a P2P network. Everything else you wrote is incorrect (and misguided by a few poorly-chosen words on this website). The Bitcoin units can be used to keep an economy straight, if it chooses, but that economy is entirely separate from Bitcoin.
So, saying the Bitcoin is "worth" something, say ten cents, or a shoelace, is totally incorrect. An independent trader may give you something for your Bitcoin, and vice versa, but the Bitcoin and the Bitcoin system have no involvement in that trade other than to record the movement of Bitcoins.