And got results:
nSubsidy1 = -10780497
nSubsidy2 = 1000000000
Guess the GC code had an integer overflow in it

Like I explained, this is what happens when you use too much math and go over a 9 quintillion satoshi calculation. That's 9 with 18 zeroes. Although that's pretty hard to believe, apparently it's happening on multiple coins now too. Surprise!
*sets off fireworks*
Coins ops are the worst programmers.
