roughly 1400 people have to have their client running at the same time. That's like waiting for some special stellar constellation

Not to mention that a huge chunk of stakeholders only drop by once a month so it would have to be at least 1 month after the announcement which even if the announcement was made right now would be later than what we hope to be launch.
Not running at the same time. Launching it one day before and leaving it working.
Why you can't postpone the launch a little?