OP was just a troll.
He neither have 1000 £ nor a wife with relatives in namibia.
There are solutions but he only bothered to point out what would not work.
How do you know that? Do you have some proofs or are your thought only a normal supposition? I also don't think he didn't (or will not) send money to Namibia.
its called logic and is quite obvious.
OP only points out options that doesnt work and ignores solution that are working and are cheaper.
No need to be a rocket scientist to see that.