I get it, but I think you should see it as a step in the right direction. If this hasn't triggered a relapse it means you are to the point where you are strong enough to see this and keep in control. Each time you see it it will be easier and that is progress. I think your recovery should ultimately not depend on you never being exposed to the substance in any way as it will happens from time to time even if you try to avoid it. There is things you don't have control over, but how you react to them is entirely yours. Good luck, what you are doing is hard and you get my respect for giving it your best.