Hey guys
Just trying out some new value propositions, can you help me out?
Monero - "The best-maintained clone of the Bytecoin scam. Except we are not a scam, but *everything* else is."
Monero - "Instant, private & secure bagholding, for free, anywhere in the world* (*min. requirements: 4 TB HD, 128 GB RAM, MS-DOS, 4 weeks sync time - or use Poloniex / FluffysMonero.com)"
Monero - "Longtime trollin', Endless syncing, Infinite Butthurt"
Monero - "Backed by NSA's Cryptonote, China Botnets, Journalist Devs, Ill-tempered Ork-army community, Poloniex (wait, that's unofficial)"
Monero - "You wanted active development & innovation? F*** You!"
Monero - "If only we had bought DASH instead of our shitcoins we wouldn't be hopping up and down with so much envy we could explode

(this one was suggested by Smooth)
Monero - "The coin that
trolls itself"
Should we do a poll?
EDIT: Sorry, wrong place, I just saw all the names and thought I was on the Monero thread.

You seem buttfrustrated. Don't worry, you are still in time to get on the winning boat by exchanging your CRASH for XMR. You can always hold your bag and be a nodebait in the amazing system that Duffield created.