You're absolutely right, the Uno blockchain should never take that long.

A week or two ago, I tried to install a software upgrade (TortoiseSVN FWIW).  The upgrade didn't take, tried it like 4 times.  But I needed my version control, so I did a System Restore to right before the first upgrade attempt.  Now System Restore claims it doesn't mess with your any of your "documents", but I guess the rockchain doesn't qualify as "documents", so it was like, 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 4 months, 8 months (I don't remember) behind.  But it took maybe an hour, at most, to catch up.

And none of my coins were missing.

I smell a keylogger on the OP's computer.  And a UNO-savvy keylogger installer at that...