Amateur hour is over.
Let's go over how a public address is derived from a private key:

1. SECP256K1(Private Key) ---> Public Key
2. RIPEMD160(SHA256(Public Key)) ---> Public Address

So these script monkeys are telling us that they found an ancient Chinese secret that can crack two hashing algorithms and an ECDSA all at once?

Unless Satoshi used a weak random number generator for his private key, and these amateur happen to know his public keys, GLHF faggots.