Since there are people who are going to override this anyways I think its better for those users to use tested software than being forced to use their own fork.
I disagree. Most of the people who think doing this is okay are not technically competent enough to make the change, -- this is why making the change is hard for them. The result is that the software crashes for the (as we see in this thread), and they adopt a new approach-- sometimes one which is less uncivilized. To whatever extent that people do successfully do so, having more users of the software able to make modifications is a virtue. There are parts of the system where diversity is a hazard, but thats generally limited to the consensus parts.
you usually only get 20-30, these are available resources and using them is not something I consider to be wasting.
Thats only true when you are on colocation subnets which are already saturated with nodes. A more common numbers is 80+ and we've had instances of widespread fullness in the past (resulting in problems with nodes getting online). If you would bother to do simple arithmetic you would conclude that even if only 20 were typically used (which isn't the case), it would only take about 100 parties total running "connect to everyone" settings to completely saturate it. Moreover, what you "consider" or not is irrelevant. It's other people's resources you would be consuming, usually for reasons which are highly adverse to their interests (e.g. spying on them and other users of Bitcoin)... beyond the spying activity, the second most common reason for wanting to do this is also ill advised (some people erroneously believe more connections improves block propagation, when in fact it too many slows it down).