Using the opinions of random internet strangers as a metric for truth ("am I fucking up?") - smells like quality science to me broheem.  

If I didn't know better,  I'd say you're not actually interested in getting to the truth of this matter at all, because on some level you realize you are absolutely 100% full of shit. Just another ignorant privileged white man oblivious to the suffering of the rest of the world. And so you shall remain, until you find the intellectual courage to throw yourself at my feet and beg me to teach you the error of your privileged ways.

But of course,  that's all hypothetical,  I know better after all. You've come honestly to this joining of minds to seek truth and wisdom together,  have you not? Careful, the easiest person to fool is yourself.