Replace word "bitcoins" by "potatoes" and any judge will figure out on the spot what to do.
Why would any judge with half a brain do that?
Potatoes are real items, produced by potato farmers farming their potato farms.
Bitcoins are just numbers, produced by an experiment requiring voluntary, willful participation.
You and Gornick should partner up and start an internet law firm. You can specialize in ridiculous, inapplicable arguments without basis in reality.
And stealing USD, "because bitcoin."