Too many LOLs in your post, but anyway....
1. Satoshi lost his keys during development... while bitcoin was still worthless.
2. Satoshi got depressed, because bitcoin not worth anything to him anymore... he couldn't mine anymore because of the difficulty increase.
3. Start a new coin... and mine it early to get rich once again ! LOL.
1. Satoshi was smart and intelligent enough to invent Bitcoin. Surely he can handle wallet backups and secure his private keys? This is a no-brainer.
2. Point doesn't stand because point 1 doesn't stand.
3. Bytecoin?

Remember the bug that created 184 Billion Bitcoins? Now Bytecoin has 184 Billion total coin supply. Probably Satoshi wanted to give a subtle sign that he was working on Bytecoin now? /JOKE