Clues for the Clueless Volume XXII
1) Matt is a minor and can't legally sign a contract
2) Matt had not visible means of repayment
3) Matt is a jocular, arguably immature fellow who likes to make his points via escalation
4) NO ESCROW (yes I am screaming that)
Need I go on?
As I recall he's a legal adult by any international standard. I'd say "manchild" is an apt description. The rest of your list is completely true and on-point.