I'll try my hand:

The Triumph of Warmth

‘Tis the dead of winter, the tree-boughs stark,
the basement is deep and cold and dark.
O’er my bed, a cruel succubus roils;
my body feels dead, but my psyche still toils.

I arise from bed and log into the internet,
for I cannot quite into sleep enter, yet.
I meander through sites, I scroll down pages:
my artificial “joy,” for what has seemed like ages.

Just when my thoughts turn to suicidal ideation,
I encounter a newsflash that’s sweeping the nation.
“Mitt Romney’s tax forms have just been purloined,
and they’re demanding a ransom--to be paid in Bitcoin!”

What is this so-called “Bitcoin,” I wonder?
And why was it chosen as a payment method for plunder?
I peruse Wikipedia, study its purpose and design...
and a long-lost warm tingle flutters up my spine.

“Bitcoin, of course!” I cry out aloud!
“Satoshi’s a genius; were I him, I’d feel proud!”
“An anonymous currency, with no regulation!”
“A perfect hobby to supplement masturbation!”

And then I learned of this thing called “mining”;
in the dark cloud hanging o’er me, I saw a silver lining.
I’ll order some graphics cards, pay an electricity fee,
and then I shall acquire this currency, for free!

The cards arrive the next day (overnight shipping).
I make a mining rig room, and then start equipping
it. The temperature rises; I begin to feel feverish.
But that dead winter cold? It hath now been banished!

And so out of this encrypted aether now flows
a trickle of Bitcents, and my wallet slowly grows.
I know not the source of these Bitcoins, nor their end;
but their value keeps growing, so they I shan’t spend.