My original Bitcoin is essentially held in escrow
Thought as much. You are handing over your bitcoin to a 3rd party, and you rely on trust to get it back, like any escrow service.
And dont give me "enforced with software" because it will be enforced by whoever has the majority in a 2-of-3 multisig.
Read my post above. Then read the sidechains white paper. Then come back here when you actually understand how this stuff works
Miss me with your "arguments to ignorance" until then.