Yes, under very situational conditions, escrowing for oneself is ok (though this is really just a deal where the counterparty sends first),...
Right, but if the counterparty doesn't know that they're sending first (because they think they're sending to a neutral, third-party) then that seems like a pretty dishonest move. If you're collecting an escrow fee from that counterparty then it's all the more shady. Just my opinion.