and simply want to say that if bitcoin grew 1000X over night, a typical home computer can STILL handle the fucking traffic
You are simply wrong - this isn't going to happen and if it grew by that amount then most will stop running it.
I have already stopped running it because of where I live (and I would like to run a full node).
So if someone with advanced computing skills has "given up" then why on earth would you think that anyone with less skills would keep doing that (seeing their computer getting CPU and I/O bound).
i don't run a full node either.