and simply want to say that if bitcoin grew 1000X over night, a typical home computer can STILL handle the fucking traffic
You are simply wrong - this isn't going to happen and if it grew by that amount then most will stop running it.
I have already stopped running it because of where I live (and I would like to run a full node).
So if someone with advanced computing skills has "given up" then why on earth would you think that anyone with less skills would keep doing that (seeing their computer getting CPU and I/O bound).
I am not sure what sort of "super home computer" you are running but when I run Bitcoin on my laptop it basically stops working properly.
Maybe something is wrong with your laptop or maybe The Great Firewall prevents you from syncing? (I presume you live in China)
My desktop (with a mobile CPU, so basically same as your average laptop) runs fully validating node just all right.
CPU Usage is at 6% and upload and download usage is mostly under 10kB/s, which is tiny fraction of my bandwidth.
I have even relatively slow connection by local standards 50/10 Mb/s. Currently where I live you can get 100/100 Mb/s for roughly 19,90/month and I wouldn't be surprised if in few years that is 1 Gb/s. (For streaming multiple channels of 4k video and whatnot.) On this planet there's millions of homes with such internet connections and only few thousand need to run full nodes.