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You want to get creative? How about a non electronic sub dermal implant with a sealed capsule that has the encrypted priv key inside? All you would have to do is scratch that spot to be remembered that you're walking around with all that bitcoin.
You can always keep an eye on it and it cannot be stolen while you're not looking.
You sir are more dedicated them me if you are willing to do this. I will keep safety deposit box

If you can handle injecting it in your body, and cutting out each time you want it... just would take it to another level.