Hey all! So ANON.PURGED sent me a vouch overnight. Let's start with the basics:

You start out with a download that is 20+ MBs. A little "iffy" at first, but went with it anyways. Note that Chrome will remove this file for "security" purposes, so if you're using it, you will need to go to downloads and unflag it from Chrome. The file is a RAR, and within it are two things: a note and a video. Nothing nefarious.

The video itself is a little over 19 minutes long, and instead of just saying "here's what to do," it's a full tutorial on exactly what you're doing, so as to keep there from being any mistakes. It's very thorough and takes you through every step of the way.

As of right now, I'm awaiting my login credentials, after which I'll be able to finish the process and verify that the entire method worked perfectly.