I think that we are all getting tired of the limits of SMF.
I think SMF works pretty well now. I fixed the most pressing issues. (This is one of the reasons I haven't been too motivated to get this job done.)
I respectfully suggest you should suspend and lock this thread. It's kinda unfair to waste professional developers (of which I am not one*) time and effort dangling 3000+ bitcoins out there when you're not serious about it.
(*Or rather I am not currently seeking contracts)