Dear Sir, we have many fine customers. You seem to be holding a grudge against our bank for some reason, nothing is to stop you from requesting a karmic interview and becoming the newest member of our banking family.
No grudge. I just don't believe there are any customers.
Also you might want to consider that the word 'Pony' can mean a few other things here in the UK:
Noun. 1. £25 sterling.
2. Rubbish, nonsense. E.g."Our team are a load of old pony and don't deserve to be in the final."
3. An act of defecation. E.g."Can you wait for me? I need to have a pony."
4. A piece of excrement.
* Versions 2, 3 and 4 are from the rhyming slang pony and trap meaning 'crap'.Guess you didn't know about this before naming your bank 'Ponyville'.