Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office my secretary said: Happy birthday boss! I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said: Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute? I said: OK. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends and my colleagues all yelling SURPRISE!!! while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.