You all are aware that you do not *need* to give any transaction fees?
Sure, this might mean that your transaction takes some time to get through, but it still works within ~10 blocks usually. I think the height of the transaction also plays into this: the lower the value, the easier it gets through even if no fee is paid.
Maybe I'm mistaken, but that's how I understood it so far.
Some versions are insisting on a fee for small or new coins. I just need to get a different version.
I think you have it backwards on the size though. Bigger is faster because it is less likely to be spam.