#2 to start mixing you also need
-enabledarksend= Enable use of automated darksend for funds stored in this wallet (0-1, default: 0)
That is only needed if you want to send mixed coins by default. If you only want to mix, you don't need it.
Nope, that's wrong

-enabledarksend is what you need to start mixing in daemon mode
"darksend " is what you use in dash-cli to send mixed coins