I don't think the answer to the OP's questions will come from this thread. I think its something you gotta figure out for yourself. This is a very bad place to come to for advice about women lol.
lol true
So I've thought about the situation long and hard (no pun intended) I think the best advice is really just to move on, as much as that pisses me off and depresses me.
If she breaks up with him then I'll move in for the kill, but you can't wait around for people. She's great but she has a certain inertia about her when it comes to making life changes, so my gut is telling me that even if she realized that she liked me better, she may still end up marrying this shmo.
So, that's that for now. I'm still crazy about her, but I have too much dignity to waste on a girl that's already taken. I've seen friends waste years on specific girls with no results, and I deserve better than that crap.