but you can always fork off and play with eth dapps derps.
ETH: Price > 10x in 2 months

BTC: Keeps tanking, predictably

Man, you must feel AWFUL

Yes. Factually, ETH did 10X in 2 months... but bitcoin did not tank. It is relatively flat in two months within a range of about $352 to $450... and currently within about the middle of that range..
Not exactly "tanking" and not exactly in any kind of "predictable" manner because there have been some fairly decent ups and downs in the past couple of months in bitcoinlandia.