from coinbase:
"You will receive your bitcoin once the bank transfer completes. Usually this is within four business days (note, not calendar days). Well send you an email when your bitcoins arrive."
That is past christmas.
clearly i should have known that it would take ~2 weeks to get anything done.
So you want to have "quick" bitcoins? Then the best way is to find a local person to trade with. (
https://localbitcoins.com)
You may try
https://www.bitinstant.com.
Expect to pay a premium for the speed/convenience.
As mentioned above, the issue is that the bitcoin community is plagued with scammers who abuse traditional payment methods to gather bitcoins. E.g. using paypal and credit cards leaves the bitcoin paying party at a huge counter-party risk.