What we need is some sort of a central authority to continuously adjust the Bitcoin protocol to compensate for such irrational behaviors.
Doesn't that automatically stop it from being bitcoin any more?
Not at all! That's what developers are for.
They understand Bitcoin and are able to interpret, in code, the teachings of Satoshi, within today's complex socioeconomic context.
Developers must familiarize themselves with the everchanging financial landscape to foster consensus within representatives of Bitcoin's Financial Majority, which is to say CEOs of mining farms and various exchanges.