clearly i should have known that it would take ~2 weeks to get anything done.
Doesn't take two weeks. It takes one hour:
1) Go to BitInstant.com . . .
Already explained:
. . . use BitInstant to convert your lousy US dollars into bitcoins. Should take less than 10 minutes on their website and a quick trip to a local shop to deposit your cash . . .
However, apparently, leaving the house to acquire actual physical cash, along with the inconvienience and costs of transporting that cash to the nearby location are a significant hindrance to the use of bitcoin:
. . . I have to guess about how many dollars I need to get the quantity of bitcoins I need to buy the coins.
It also means gas money, and getting cash in the first place.
Is that a Billy Goat I see crossing a bridge in the distance?