isn't a bunch of our planets going to align and point to the center of the universe today?
Yes they were, but some GD entity forget to install the orbit buffers.
Yeah, we hired a highly skilled technician with lots of construction experience for that.
We even embedded all the necessary diagrams directly into his brain (specifically, the left frontal lobe, because they're in SVG and you have to do all sorts of perverted XML trickery to get anything logical to stick to the right side of the brain) to ensure that they could not be lost or damaged.
Then we sent him to your planet to take some preliminary measurements and never heard from him again.
I considered trying to find him and get him a scammer tag, but that sounds like work and you're all doomed anyway.
That wouldn't happen to have been Dank, would it? Having an SVG smeared all over his left frontal lobe would explain a lot.
No, but while checking which lobe it was, I ran across this
Quote
He is fitful, irreverent, indulging at times in the grossest profanity (which was not previously his custom), manifesting but little deference for his fellows, impatient of restraint or advice when it conflicts with his desires, at times pertinaciously obstinate, yet capricious and vacillating, devising many plans of future operations, which are no sooner arranged than they are abandoned in turn for others appearing more feasible.
and realized that Dank does have all of the symptoms.