It is up to the developers of the other software to follow the publicly available specs
nooo
backward compatible soft fork means that segwit has be be sure to work with other implementations that already exist.. not the other way round
this is why a hard fork would be better. as it forces all implementations to be on the same level playing ground. rather then a handfull of coders just making sure their version works and blaming everyone else for not upgrading if it hard forks..
seriously are you that devoted that you can no longer think impartially