Okay, I've finally set it up. It's fully legal, Softlayer has a group sort of discount for businesses which this kinda applies to. (Trying to not give too much away here)

I get $1000 a month in Softlayer credits a month. I decided to go with a seedbox as my 6TB Leaseweb is outgrowing me, plus having a free VPS is always a plus right?

I contacted sales since I wanted 8TB drives. I also wanted to max out the $1000 a month limit. Ended up at $992 a month ALL FOR FREE.

Configuration:

E3-1270v3
8GB ram
2* 8TB drives in JBOD
1GB link
5TB outbound traffic (which alone costs $530ish a month, which btw is a bullshit price)

This method is fully legal, so I used my actual name, credit card whatever they asked. I'm sure you could use a VCC or something but after a year, I'll just use my girlfriends/friend/family's name and their credit card since nothing is charged.

You probably won't be able to create more than one account since you have to do verification. Probably won't be able to do any CPU mining, as Softlayer is the best in the business, keeping their servers in top notch condition and probably have a way finding the high CPU load.