That was quite an entertaining read actually.
By the way - math may be reliable. The technology that implements it may not be.
Also, did you just give up on trying to prove that there isn't a trustless way to verify dash's masternode distribution?
Masternodes are not distributed amongst people. There is no association between a masternode and a person any more than there is with Bitconi nodes. (Unlike mining where a miner can load up a different version of the code and therefore influence a potential change in the actual network protocol itself to the extent of their contributed hashpower).
A person may hold a private key to a blockchain address which a masternode checks (for collateral) in order to make sure it should be running.
There is some association as far as spending a proportion of the blockchain reward though - in terms of a collateral holder being able to vote.