If bitcoin is to fit the regression theorem, then yes bitcoin would need to have an intrinsic, or more accurately, a barterable value.

This discussion isn't really about bitcoin, though, is it?  Bitcoin clearly has a value and clearly has utility as a money.  This discussion, I think, is really about the validity of the regression theorem.  Because if bitcoin doesn't fit the theorem, then the theorem is disproven.

As for whether my point is a long shot, it isn't.  It's exactly dead on.  That's why I'm surprised that the point never comes up.  It's impressive that Satoshi saw the barterability of proof-of-work tokens and jumped right from there to turning them into money.  To understand both cryptography and economics enough to see this possibility and actually implement it is a stroke of genius.