Engrave your private keys in a block of tungsten, basically indestructible.

I don't think that it will be really needed to use something as sturdy and expensive. A common iron block will be a lot more than enough I think

!
Not if you bury it under a birdbath for 20 years ...
last night i bought 5 usb sticks and 2 waterproof boxes, i put the box inside of the other box then the 5 usb sticks in the middle of the box, afterwards i went into my backyard and dug a hole underneath the bird fountain ... i plan to keep it there for 20 years.
Well, you know, if you plan to do so, I would not use USB keys too. Best would be something written or cut in an aluminium plate or maybe block, since it isn't affected by humidity.