The ICO is happening right now, actually! Simply navigate your browser to Poloniex.com or Bittrex and purchase some of the ICO tokens on the open BTC/XMR market! You too can get in on the next big thing. 
EXACTLY.
I don't think people understand the concept of a 4 year ICO that uses conventional market tools.
4 years and no GUI, nice one! Does Monero have anything, I mean like, at all (other than the bytecoin copy/paste I mean)?
No it has fuck all. It is a currency for obese pedophiles
Find out how much monero I have. Please.
And then post your bitcoin address so I can track you.