I am not bad with money, most of the money I have made in the past came from me being a reckless idiot. But most of the money I have lost has also happened due to me being a reckless idiot too
You're not investing anything, what you're doing is called gambling. If you gamble with money you can't afford to lose or you can't stop gambling then you have a problem.
Even if you were to magically turn that 30 BTC into 300, you'd fuck it up again eventually because you're completely lost touch with reality.
If you don't see that now then you might see it once you're life eventually hits rock bottom when all the lies uncover, people stop trusting you and you go broke.
Then you might realize your errors which will hopefully make you a better person or you'll keep being an irresponsible dumbass.