You don't seem to get it. What is most important for me is consensus and how Bitcoin is developed. 75% is not consensus.
You're right - there is something in your statements that I don't quite get. If 75% is not consensus, then neither is 95%. So... what's your point?
If consensus means "general agreement; an idea or opinion that is shared by all the people in a group" as generally defined in the English language, which is closer -- 75% or 95%? If the aim is consensus, then 75% seems closer to a majority vote, not something that begins to approach consensus.
In any case, I agree, 95% miner agreement is not enough for a hard fork at all. For a soft fork, it's probably fine since partitioning risk is at <50% hash support for new rules. Miners don't
need permission from anyone to soft fork, of course. Miners
need permission from all nodes to hard fork -- every node operator needs to uninstall their software and install the new version, otherwise the miners get forked off.