Things ignored by this post:
...
At the end of the day, _no one_ has the authority to push a hardfork onto other people
Things gmaxwell may be hoping you ignore in this post:
The segwit design calls for a future bitcoinj compatible hardfork
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Gregory Maxwell greg at xiph.org, [bitcoin-dev] Capacity increases for the Bitcoin system., https://lists.linuxfoundation.org/pipermail/bitcoin-dev/2015-December/011865.html