Segwit solves the "2+ minute troll block validation" problem by enabling Schnorr (and resultant tree) signatures.
*takes off pedant hat*
Good. Now there's room for a different hat on your head.
SegWit doesn't solve the "2+ minute troll block validation" problem through Schnorr sigs either. Some future feature that is post- SegWit may. Or may not.
^

Pedant, my ass.
SegWit is
necessary, but not
sufficient, for the log scaling validation time sigops enabled by Schnorr.
May we agree I look really good in this pedant hat?

...
...
you were wearing for a half hour.