Because so far the people who want to fund it want my account as collateral & they're less trusted than me. Escrow is way too much of an overkill for $2 to hold my account.
Well the people that you think is less trsted than you in this forum have the money that you need to pay for your $2 subription but you talk to them them like shit, remember that you are the one who is in need not them. Better to ask a relative to lend you $2 than ask around here with that attitude.
Would you trust that guy with your account? I have the right to be protective. I lost 13 BTC because cocky people were complaining in the gambling section that I was lying about my gambling luck and got me to deposit. I deposited, someone stole it. I won't trust anyone that easily.