Sounds like you don't know how to say what you are trying to express.

God wrote the laws that we are to obey in our hearts. Our sensitivity has been waning over the thousands of years because of entropy. We can barely "feel" the laws in our hearts any longer. Yet, if you go out and murder someone, especially for no reason at all, you will feel the law in your heart rising up and telling you that you did wrong.

The other basic laws are there in our hearts, as well. They prick us a little when we disobey them. So, we avoid disobeying them at times, but then indulge the disobedience at other times. God reacts to this fickleness of ours perfectly in ways designed to offer us salvation from this disobedience, which is destroying.

Some people like you, have almost entirely glossed over their conscience, or at least parts of it. They have hardened themselves against the guilt that they feel, because they know there is no way to perfectly correct anything that they have done wrong. And they don't like feeling the prick of their guilt all the time.

God offers forgiveness for all this wrong that people have done. He offers it through the sacrifice that Jesus did, when He gave up His life on the cross. Jesus as God had the strength to take the mistakes of all people in His death. Jesus as man was punished, because it was mankind that sinned. Jesus as God was restored to life after 3 days in the grave, because nobody can destroy God.

It's all there for you. Freedom from the guilt in your heart is waiting for you. Faith in Jesus and the work that He did on the cross is how you access it. Once you believe in Jesus and forgiveness comes to you, then fill yourself on the Bible (starting with the New Testament) so that your faith is strengthened, so that you can have everlasting life in Heaven with us.