Not so much "couldn't" give me a report like that, more along the lines of "wouldn't want" to give me a report like that. Why? Easy, because it embarrassingly has foundations built from wishful thinking.

For example, a person was born in a Christian environment, so the bible god must be the "correct" one.
Nothing more than wishful thinking.


Yeah, struggling with the omnipotent thing again I see.


Well if he wants me in heaven, God with have to drop to his knees and beg for my forgiveness, or he'll be in for a shock.  

Brace yourself for some wet end to proclaim God would never do that. How do you know he wouldn't? Answer: you don't. You just "want" God not to do that, is what you really mean.