I have a 100 Mbps connection (upload and download) for $20/month, but we're going off topic here.

How much more expensive is an unspendable output compared to a spendable output to the global network?
~$0.10.

It is obviously a flaw in the bitcoin protocol that miners can include a $0.10 network cost transaction with a cost of 0.00008 BTC for themselves. And that 0.00008 BTC cost decreases with better connectivity and infrastructure, to a point it even becomes profitable for well connected miners to spam the network (See retep's post). The problem doesn't even fix itself when BTC is worth $1000, because miners are getting the tx fees, not the network full nodes.