Can bitcoin use dynamic block sizes like the one Monero uses?
Because there hasn't been a sound dynamic block size proposal, in addition to the inadequate amount of research spent regarding such. AFAIK there are 'plans' to switch to such an algorithm in the future, although I'm not aware of a timeline for it.
Being serious, though, someone needs to decide what the block size is going to be instead of these 6-month+ long deliberations that have been happening.
"Someone needs to decide" in a decentralized system? They need to make proposals, and decisions need to be made via consensus. There have been several proposals in the past two years, and it is clearly obvious that Segwit is the one that has most of the support.
I think both sides are retarded, and should stop attacking each other.
Primarily the side using logical fallacies is the problem. Attacking someone for having a view, when they have decent arguments for such is ridiculous.