Every one of us gets depressed sometimes

I just feel, since I stopped believing in a god, it lasts longer

I always had an imaginary being I could talk to about anything before bed
He would listen
He would hear my troubles, my requests
And although he didn't fulfil them, I felt better just feeling there is someone that could help me just because I was just

I stopped believing years ago, but I continued to "pray" as a habit
A couple of months ago I just stopped
I felt like I was ready for a loony bin,  I'm talking to a freaking imaginary friend..

And since then, when something bad happens in my life, the depression just lingers with me
I tried praying again, but it isn't helping since I know I'm talking to empty air

Are theists happier because of their ignorance?

It just feels so terrible!
I want there to be a god, someone who punishes evil, someone who rewards the good...
But there isn't..
My mind doesn't even bring that into question, I know there isn't a god
And it makes me sad

What's the purpose of my life?
I will just live and disappear after my death

Are ignorant people happier at all, aside from religion?
I remember a time I slept less then 5 hours a day, my mind literally crumbled, I couldn't think
But I was fucking happy, I was happy as hell, I didn't know why
I woke up happy, I went to bed exhausted, but happy!
Just because I didn't think about the world, about the things happening around me, the stupid choices of our leaders, I just thought about things going on right now, in this very moment