so, I navigated to where geth (CLI interface) and manually ran it with this:
./geth --fast --cache=256
and it finished syncing after a few hours, this was with a fast (100+ Mbps network and an ssd), but non of the run away memory issues I was facing with the main client when trying to do the initial sync. You could use a larger cache and see if it speeds it up more (value is in MB).